Spring Arrives At Test Equipment World Domination Headquarters

I got to work today to see that Jon had propped open the front door and opened up the back loading dock door to let the breeze through the office. We did this all last summer and only ran the AC for a total of about 3 weeks. Our neighbors in the office park don't have the luxury of doing this so their AC runs all summer long. We're all about the environment here at NTE. We fix broken test equipment for resale, we re-use or recycle lots of packaging material. The heat gets turned down to 52 degrees in the winter at night. I ride my bike to work. Now if I can get Jon to quit driving that battleship of a vehicle, we'll really be doing our part.

I Am Ironman

Da da da dum dum dada dada dada dada da dum dum etc., etc. 64 miles today. Yup 64 miles. Sixteeee Four miles. I rode in the Ironman bike tour today with 5000 other riders. I did the 62 mile ride, although it ended up being 64. Did you catch that? 64 miles. I rode with Neil and Belinda who were on their tandem. It was pretty tough. The wind was from the west and although the NWS says it was only 10 mph while we were riding, it felt a lot worse. A lot. Ask anyone who rode today. Neil is laughing at me right now because he did 100 miles yesterday and 64 today. Well he can start his own blog. Wait. He already did. That makes 642 miles for the month of April and 1300 miles for the year. It could be a little bit more because I really didn't start keeping track until March and I think I lowballed January.

On Thursday, we went to The Other Younger Half's hoo-ha for the nursing society. It was nice. I am sorry to report that there were no darkend rooms, flickering torches, secret handshakes or gibberish incantations. There weren't any spankings either. I guess they only do that at Bethel. It wasn't overtly formal. In fact when the President of the local chapter was swearing in the officers for the next year, she forgot the little script. She turned to them and said, "Boing, you're inducted." Big laughs. Most of the evening was spent listening to how great the Society is. Fine. Just as long The Other Younger Half gets scholarship money from them when she pursues graduate study.

The Other Yonger Half took some of the cash she has been squirrling away from rubbing nekkid people at the Massage Parlour and bought a table for dining in the back yard. The table is very nice. It's bigger than the table we eat at inside. Our back yard is not nice though. Psycho and Stupid run and dig, dig and run, and poop, so we have no grass. I would send pictures but I think TOYH would kill me if I showed our dirt farm to the rest of the world on the internets. You're just going to have to come and see it in person. And then you can eat at our table. We ate out there tonight. Fired up the old Weber grill/snow guage (see pictures), grilled up some red meat (sorry Francis) and had a lovely dinner. Well it was lovely if you closed your eyes and didn't think about the rest of the crappy back yard.

Of Warts And Other Things

So we had yet another visit with Dr. Hendrick yesterday. He has been the kid's doc since KyKy was little. We've been lucky I guess. In the last 13 years I don't know how many times we've switched insurance because of jobs etc., but Dr. H. remains. We used to schedule appointments early in the morning becasue he is such a Chatty Cathy that he would be running 45 minutes late by the afternoon. Yesterday he came in, chatted a bit (of course) and then got down to the business of freezing those blasted warts. For some reason The Madster decided to stand up during the procedure, so by the end the pain was getting to her and she felt a little light-headed. That's o.k. just more time to talk with Dr. H until she feels better. We scheduled another appointment for two weeks from now to have the hunormous wart on her thumb treated again. Yeah the same one that was ripped off today playing kickball with the neighborhood kids tonight. I forgot to ask if she saved the thing after it got torn off. The Madster left her mark at the clinic yesterday, literally, by writing down some of her memorized lines of Macbeth on a little chalkboard in the exam room. Dr. H was duly impressed.

Tomorrow we go to St. Peter for the big nursing wing-ding. I honestly don't know when the last time we were all in the crapmobile together. It may have been for our fabulous haircuts. Sheesh we are a pathetic family. We don't do anything together.

I feel like I need to say a word about our youngest-you know what's her name, who didn't take an exciting trip to China or an exciting trip to the doctor to get warts removed. That's right! 'Nika. You know how toddlers will sometimes be holding on to something and suddenly just hand it to you? They just give it. Then they'll pick something else up and give it to you. Give. Give. Give. There is a residual form of this behavior that has hung on in our youngest. I swear she is the most generous child I have ever met. Ever. If she was starving and was given two M&Ms she would turn around and say to you, "Want one?" Again, she must get this from her mother, because as I have noted earlier in this blog, I am the most selfish person I know. The rest of the family, being as evil as we are, constantly take advantage of this generosity. "'Nika could you do this?" "'Nika could you get me that?" "Sure," is the invariable answer. I suppose we'll ruin her and she'll grow up to be a lesbian terrorist or something, hopefully a generous lesbian terrorist. But this trait is what make her so endearing and why we love her more than the other two. Kidding! Kidding! You all know we love the dogs the best.

OK You Ravenous Beasts

Since you can't seem to get enough of our mundane family life, there's more stuff for you to devour. Below (above?) is the Madster's excellent story, and if you click on the picture link to the left, you will see that KyKy has started to post some of the pics from her China trip. For all of you waiting for bike porn, hold on. Just remember that the anticipation is the exciting part. I will try my best to post more often. The pressure is almost too much to bear. Of course it would help if other family members would keep you updated once in a while.

The Madster's Voyageur Diary

This is a school assignment. It is a diary I made up of a girl who lived around 1800. She lived in a big family and was very adventurous. She didn't know how to spell, so please don't think I have horrible spelling.


Voyageur National Park


This here is a journal from 1804 to 1805. From what we can gather, it belonged to Annemarie Isabelle Gerard, a female voyageur who loved adventure. But in those days there were no female voyageurs, so she had to disguise herself as a man. We found these few 8 pages (which we believe had more entries) in the bottom of a old voyageur birch bark canoe in 1945,along with a much longer journal, which is on the left. Sadly, the other journal had no name, with pieces ripped that looked like were the names should be. The only clue we have is to who this person is, is the initials, “CPG”. Experts say this journal belonged to a relative of Annemarie, or at least a person in her brigade. These diaries are antiques, so please don’t touch!


Voyageur National Park



Quebec, Canada
April 3, 1804

Bonjour, je sui femmes heureux! My name is annemarie isabelle gerard, da 2nd old of pierre and gereldine gerard. I am tie for 7th child wif my twin broder, andre we like 2 pod in pees there is 13 of we yuny gerards, wif 5 of girl- marguerite, 20 , moi, 16, anna, 12, clarise, 10, papillona, 8, delia, 6, claire 3 of month- and 6 of boy.- phillipe, 23, jacques, 18, andre, 16, charles, 10, gabriel, 7, paul, 4- We troupeau gerard anna,phillipe
andre,gabriel and me from papooose us father have 4 ago year then he marri moi mere detape, gereldine, who huusband did dy an emediatli find me fader. snag hem by da nek and use hem for a huusband and a fader. She is smell like da spoiled cabage in bad buter. He is very quiet man at home keep hemself to hem, and don;t talk much. I blabber tu much, so i tell yu somting else.I love da open of forest, and advencher, so i run away to be voyager, and not be cuped up in da howse, wif 23 child and huusband dat like hees gun dat kill da ducks maguerite is stuk wif dat kind of da life i dion’t want it. I don’t want to be da slav of da drunken brut! Mon dieu! I tink dat andre will keep mi secret, and teach mi to be a man. I can finaly lern to spit! Only da family won’t now i wil kep secret from phillipe, jacques an pap, who also is voyager now to hunt duck an der. Adieu!





dis is the der i kill for super

Montreal, Canada
April 23, 1804

Mon Dieu! Mi hands are so swolen they is as beeg as mi heed an por mi body, it is all of endolori andre is no much better. Mon Dieu, as i was saying! Today we left Montreal a crowd was all of us cheering! it feel as if dey were cheering for moi i was goeng to bow, buut, i was sweating as if a were da pig, even afder 9 stroks! Mon Dieu! I am such the wimp! andre did better for he don boy work- not dat i did eny- buut i was weak. When i was about not to bear it eny longer and i was about toooo die, we stopped. Thanks of the god we had da pork an da corn for diner it was da nasty food-was it da food?- i ever had in me stomach, to witch i had olmost emptyed on mi plate i was so da hungery, i did enheiled it befor i reaslize what i did just eten. andre sayed that my face look like i have eten gereldines perfume. -Mon Dieu, did i look dat bad?- Inow have the new male name, Henri Pierre. Uhhh, i em to sick to my estomac!












Dandilions


Near St. Anne’s
May 1, 1804


I did not feel eny better then last entri is a voyager life dat hard? mi hands is cru and da blooted look phillipe say the will feel fin afder a few weks. Mon Dieu! I can not wait dat long for my hand s will fall of by than and be flooting raund the st. lowrence river. Mon Dieu!- what do i ceep riting dat word!?- we have stop at some cadlic church name st. anne. pretti niseeglise. Everi person give a donation and give a lettle preyer for da safe trip. andre an moi skroungeed for da coin, put dem in da lettle box, den we bot nelt an us prey. I preyed for papa and phillipe and jacques and andre and me. I preyed for everibodi at home -ecept for gereldine whose i hoped to sufocated in her purfume, sorri god- i also preyed for reel food.- mabyegereldine is a merchant femme, but she can kook up da storm




Lake Nipissing-i tink-
June 29, 1804

mi preyers were usless. apapa is dead. Us all were thropw out of the boat in da midle of da storm it was cold an whet and thunder an litning crique over we’s boat i felt scared , wif da ominus clouds cracling over we’s heeds. i feel small an helpless. den it cam. Da wave. Da vague. it push us over da boat an in to da churning waters of da lake nipissing. phillipe and jacques and andre and moi ecaped wif bruses and 1 brocen toe and 2 srain ancles. papa drowned. 4 out of da 12 , 1/4 -i went to skool- died, mi fader 1 of dem. it is to hard to talk about it. i felt horible.Now i don’t have or now my bialogikal parents! Mon Dieu! They is buring da dead 1’s temoraryly. I can not wach! i moost not cri! i am a man! i moost be a man. i-i m-moost not sh-sho m-mi true identiti! M-m-m-i.....




mi faders brocen blade

Grande Portage
August 10, 1804
Grande Portage!
reel peeple! Reel places! REEL FOOD! It smell like reeel food, not flee riden da pork and corn! I have live on dat for too long! Mon Dieu! girls have been wincing at me ever sice mi got of da canoo Mon Dieu!
They like moi! they LIKE moi! Merchant! A Rendevous is in a coople of da ours. i tink i mit go adieu!
.....
MON DIEU!
Gereldine has remarryed! 2 month afder her ofer huusband have died! Por claire! she will never now her reeel fader!
AHHHHHHHHHHH!
.....
i nevr tasted booooooze befor! i lov it! it tasti!-hic!- i have mi first fite todey! wif-hic!- phillipe!-hic!- mi i is sor and-hic!- blac!mon dew!god fod and-hic!- god lafs!
i dased wif andre everiwon laffing and-hic!-drunc i so drunc i can t rite!-hic!- mon dew! i go to -hic!- slep now! adeeu! -hic!-
















mi beeeeutiful wine!
In the middle of nowhere
August 29, 1804

Had mi first portage todey mon dieu! those pacs way about da ton! jocques spraned hes ancle . he can still padle doe. and gess what, gereldine had a baby not just the baby, but twins!TWINS! There is now 13 mouth to feed! An when we get back 15! 15! the babies is a da boy and da girl. Jean and Gabriella! Mon Dieu! Can da life get eny da wors!












da babies

A cabin in Boringland
December 25, 1804

Crismas is here in alesageland. When we cleened up the canoo, i foound a bunch of papers. i piced dem up and what do yu tink thay were? Mi fader’s diari wif the initials “CPG:! MI DECISED FADERS DIARY, Mei he rest in da peece!
MON DIEU!
I had been reeding hes diari in some parts were jus plain a lesage and digusting, such as pierre-named afcer papa- my nephew-in-laws, who is such da total brat, while papa go on on how strong and smart and corage for the 2 year-old boy.Mon Dieu! All he is is a fat of a lettle boy with red hares and da frecles alwais screching dat angelice, hes 1-year-old sester-who is such the total angel- has more den everiting he has. All i tink is that he does et becase she is get some attenton, an he es not geting enof. He alwai had a puurple lolipop wif hem. Strangest of times. But enyway, I founded dis pasage dated May 18 ,1804 za dey zat da brigade left da Montreal. He talk how i run away da dey befor we left, and how he feel terible about fiting wif me da dey befor about marrying a cleck wif lots of money. i did never reelize dat i have hurt hem. pauvre papa! and da.........



Mon Dieu! i founded a papsage da dey befor papa die. et say “Henri Pierre and i had a lettle talk on da familyes back home. He had told me of hes sweethart, gereldine-o.k., i have lie becase he is mi fader for sakes of da god!- and i told hem of mi beutifuul gereldine-gross!-. i now it es bad to lie , but she es not zat god looken and steenks like da cow in da hog fat _wey to go papa, may you rest in da gods peece!-. And wile us were talk, Henri reminded mi of my pretty annemarie-WHAT?- he has da same chine and i’s, and da meories floded back about zat fite. Ohhh, iam sorry aneemarie” I forgiven yu papa! Ohhh papa!





Grande Portage
April 3, 1805

CIVILIZATON! DA STREETS! DA STORES! DA CARAGES! DA HORSES!
DA FOOD!
It is been exact 1 yeer sise i lef for Grande Portage wif andre,phillipe,jacques and pap, mey he rest in da peece. Meny tings have changed. Moi run away, we leeving for Grande Portage, da new fader, da twins. Papa dieing. All en 1 yeer Mon Dieu! phillipe and jacques have dues to be da paid. papa did two, but hes die, so i don’t now what thier go to do a bout it. I have ripped a ll the names from hes diary so noone weill notise it wes hys. andre and moi is going back to da home to reunite wif old freinds and da famili, den take anna,gabriel,lis and Delia to live gy our wages. It could hapens. Bahh! i alreedi feel sick wif civilzaton. i crave da river, da trees and da forest. I moost live da life of da voyager! Mon Dieu! It has only been 3 minets and i wants to get bac on da canoo and paddle to Grande Portage. It call to me. But now i moost fly. Adieu!

And Tears Came To My Eyes

Yes, yes I know, I haven't been updating everyone and your online concern has me overwhelmed. I work so hard to come up with some snarky post (sniff,sniff), and then the well goes dry, so I don't write (uncontrollable weeping). Maybe all the time spent breaking my new Brooks saddle has affected my thinking, being where my brain is located and all. I figured everyone but Neil would be yawning over my miles. So go ahead, blame the bike, but beware the SS Deathstar. 125 miles on the bike Friday through Sunday including a 52 mile ride on Sunday. Time for you folks to get off the couch and into the saddle.

I took the girls out a couple of times in the past week, and they're always asking if we can take off on a ride. This is a good thing cuz the goal is to get them to a level of fitness so we can pile the bikes in the Crapmobile and head out to some trails outside the city.

On Tuesday, we went to the painless dentist. KyKy and I had fillings put in and The Madster had some sealant put on her teeth. The last time I had a filling, they either clubbed me on the head or liquored me up or something to mask the pain, but I don't remember since it was so long ago. This time it was not what I would describe as a pleasant experience, but considering that they were drilling a hole in my head, it wasn't too bad. The only downside is that now I have to wear my tinfoil hat all the time. I'm sure that some kind of mind-control device was implanted and I can't let the aliens (or the gov'mint) tell me what to. I think they want me to stop riding my bike. Today I take The Madster to the doc to get some warts frozen off. Delicious. This is the second time we've had to do this. They came off once and returned bigger and better than ever. I too knew the heartbreak of warts as a child so I feel her pain. 'Nika survived the ear piercing, but maybe we should get this raging 105 fever and loss of hearing checked out sometime. And finally in medical news, Psycho the dog got into the garbage on Saturday night and proceeded to barf all over the house while we slept. Stupid dog.

The Madster wrote yet another masterpiece for school. It's the journal of a young girl who disguises herself as a boy and runs off to be a voyageur. I'll get it posted, but I think I'll need to fiddle around with the formatting to get it to look right. The Madster also landed a part in the school play - Macbeth(?) by some guy named Shakespeare I guess. She is neglecting everything else to learn her lines.

The girls all got their report cards back. Man, they must have their mom's brains. I never got marks like that.

The Other (Younger) Half is still plugging away at school and the Massage Parlour. She has a 2 week break or so between the end of the school term and the beginning of her internship. It will be a well deserved rest. On Thursday we are all heading down to St. Peter for her induction in to some nursing society, Delta-Delta-Delta-23-Ski-doo. If there are paddle involved spankings as a part of the initiation, I'll blog about it.

Another Saturday Come And Gone

Not much happening around here, except for maybe, oh, the second greatest thing that has happened to me in my life (the first was meeting and marrying The Other [Younger] Half). Ok, Ok make that the fourth, since I have to include the births of my 3 children. The fourth greatest thing in my life happened to me last night. I finally picked up my new bike. For you geeks it's a 56cm Surly Cross Check with a Shimano 105 drive train, including a 36 spoke DuraAce rear hub, Brooks Flyer saddle and Crank Bros. Candies Pedals. Everything on the bike is pretty much black, silver or white (even the rims for the wheels are black, sweeet), so when I picked it up from the shop that built it up for me, the owner called it the "Death Star." After a bit of initial tweeking last night, today I took SS Death Star out on her maiden voyage. It was better than......almost anything I can think of. This morning I did the tour of Minneapolis, following the trails around the city, 42 miles in all. This is the longest continuous ride I have ever done. It was unbelievable. After 39 miles of riding I ended up on the Midtown Greenway in Minneapolis and I put the hammer down and punched it up to 20mph on my little cycle computer. It took so little effort, even after all that riding. My butt even cooperated. You have to understand, a Brooks saddle is basically a thick piece of leather streched over a frame. No padding. At all. Once you get the saddle to conform to your butt shape, you can go forever. The problem can be the break-in period. Suffice it to say that I am posting this sitting down with absolutely no pain at all. I can't wait to get out tomorrow. I may even post some pictures over on Picassa of all my bikes. Just look for the album labled "Bike Porn."

The kids spent last night at the Evil Grandmother and Dreadful Man's house. So it was just The Other (Younger) Half and me. Friday evening. Alone. We spent a wild night of her doing homework and me watching "Red Green" on the teevee until I fell asleep. We're just like a couple of newlyweds we are.

Today, after she got done rubbing Nekkid people at the Massage Parlour, The Other (Younger) Half took the girls out for a little girls day out. 'Nika got her ears pierced and not one tear was shed. Our little baby is growing up. This is the same child who could not get to sleep because her "foot hurt." We found out the solution to this intractable foot pain was to put a damp paper towel on her foot when she went back to bed. This child doesn't have just a low threshold for pain, I think she has a negative threshold, if that's possible. KyKy had her ears double pierced today. I have no problem with that, ear piercing I mean. But if she comes home with a railroad spike driven through her head because that is what all the cool kids are doing, I guess I might have second thoughts about her getting that second piercing in her ear. Slippery slope and all. This leaves me as the only holdout to having holes poked in my body. The Madster has pierced ears as does The Other (Younger) Half. TO(Y)H even has a little diamond stud in her nose. She didn't listen to me when I told her that it was farm animals in this country that traditionally have holes poked through their noses. Oh well. Next time you are looking for our family, just look for the mutilated group with all the bling hanging from their sensory organs.

The Evening Nooz And A Brush With Celebrity

Well I was right about the hyperventilating news readers last night. Snowstorm leads our coverage! I generally watch the 9pm local news because I'm an old man and I want to get to bed early. This hour long program has to be one of the lamest on the planet. The first half hour is devoted to local events plus stupid stories from around the country from network affiliates. That second group of stories drives me nuts. I don't care about the fire department in Peoria rescuing a dog from a sewer drain, or the little old lady who drove her Cadillac through a storefront in Phoenix. But what's really annoying is the news readers adding their inane concern comments at the end of a piece.

Anchor 1:
"....and that's when the Space Shuttle tipped over and landed on Mr. Klupford's foot, bruising it quite badly."

Anchor 2:
"Wow, I bet that caught him by surprise. Let's hope that he's alright."

The second half of the show is devoted to American Idol recaps I think. I only know this from the teases they sprinkle throughout the first half of the show. I turn it off after the weather.

So last night they lead the show with the big snowstorm that is on its way. I think they were all holding paper bags off camera in case their hyperventilating left them incapacitated. Since it wasn't snowing in the metro last night, they had to do a live remote from Owatanna showing the snow falling. The horror! Snow falling in April. So last night I wake up at 3:30 and look out the window. No snow. It had started by the time I got up at 6:00. Big deal. It's snow.

Last evening The Other (Younger) Half went to a book reading/signing/dog and pony show. The author was Anne Lamott, our favorite. As it turns out, a friend of ours in California is a friend of Ms. Lamott. When our friend found out that The Other (Younger) Half was going, she emailed Ms. Lamott who said she would be happy to reserve some seats at the event. She left a phone number. The Other (Younger) Half left a message on the phone saying there would be 6 or 7 people there. When The Other (Younger) Half arrived at the store, the line apparently went to the Iowa border. (I guess some people were standing in the snow around Owatanna) So when Ms. Lamott appeared, she saw the empty reserved seats and asked, "Where's my friend Tacy and her friends?" Pretty cool. I'll try and get The Other (Younger) Half to fill in some details. I do know that she did not ask Ms. Lamott the most important question, "Does she read this blog?"

What Is Normal Anyway?

We are starting to get back into a routine at the Stocking household. The girls are back in school catching up on the days they missed. KyKy is still trying to adjust to her Pre-China sleep schedule, somewhat successfully. The Other (Younger) Half is running around in the evenings doing school related stuff, and I am trying to hold down the fort at the Test Equipment World Domination Headquarters. Has everyone done their taxes yet? Our personal taxes were done a while back, but I get to deal with all the payroll, sales and use taxes for the bidnesses, here and at the Massage Parlour. Payroll taxes are a mess. Even the high tech accounting programs don't do a very good job of setting things up to get payroll to run smoothly. Because Jon is an owner, his are figured one way. Mine, as the sole employee, are different. Our HSAs are treated like health insurance premiums, but our program did not set them up correctly for 2006. Our accountant, who is a great guy by the way, doesn't even deal with payroll stuff. He has another service figure it out for him. When I was complaining to him how complicated this is, he laughed and said, "That's why I don't do them." The past couple of weeks have been filled with calls and emails to 2 different accountants, software customer service and a local so called "expert" on the program we use. I still don't know if they are being figured out correctly. Don't worry, we are still making payments to the gov'mint, and nobody I'm getting advice from goes on rants about the unconstitutional nature of the income tax. I just don't know if we're paying the right amount. Stay tuned till April of '08.

The weather? Anything but normal. After a cold (I'm talking teens) and windy weekend, we are expecting a couple of inches of snow in the next 24 hours. When I get home I'll have to pop some popcorn and watch the people on the teevee get all apopleptic about the snow. The civil defense severe weather sirens went off today for about 10 seconds. People in Maplewood must be getting twitchy about the weather or something. That or the Russkies are bombing us back to the stone age. If I have to get the snowblower out, I'll give you a full report. I know that's why you read this trash.

He's Up!

Happy Easter to our faithful reader(s)

It's Sunday evening and we're getting back to the old grind here at the Stocking household after a couple of weeks of upheaval. The kids have been out of school for 2 week travelling around. Now since it is Sunday evening, there are the requisite tears shed over homework that has not been finished yet. KyKy is really feeling the effects of jet lag, and will need a resurrection of her own tomorrow morning. The Other (Younger) Half has some kind of break from school, what it actually amounts to I can't tell. She doesn't have to spend as much time in the classroom this term, but she is attending some seminars or something. I don't know. We're counting down the 8 months she has left. Then she'll trade her screwy school schedule for a screwy hospital schedule. At least she'll get paid.

Spelling.

I have just found out that I have been calling Aunt Ann's work Tint Tots. That is not correct, it is TINY TOTS. Sorry

My Wife Makes Me Stupid

And not just stupid in love, which I am. With her. My wife, I mean. You can ignore all the metaphysical musings from the last post. KyKy came home today, 24 hours earlier than we expected. So if you take that 29 hours subtract 24 and add 16 you get 21. I have no idea what the significance of that number is. As it turns out, The Other (Younger) Half had KyKy's return marked on the wrong day, Saturday the 7th. Maybe it was reasoned that since KyKy was scheduled to leave Friday at 10:00am on a 16 hour journey, she would be here on a Saturday. Enter the magic of the International Date Line. She left Friday morning, travelled 16 hours and returned, drumroll please, Friday afternoon. We just kept looking at that calendar with Saturday the 7th marked as her return date. It's funny how untruths, when reinforced often, can become accepted by those who are not thinking clearly. Take WMDs in Iraq for example. . . . (Sorry, I couldn't resist). Whatever. She's home now and we are all one big happy family again. Simply loverly.

Plus she brought presents home from China.

Good Friday

Holiest time of the year. 'Nuff said.

In the world of the profane it is "Not So Great Friday." Jon closed up the shop today, so I get to lounge around home. That is a good thing, but..... at 11:00 am it was 21 stinking degrees outside and very windy. I was really hoping to take the kids biking today, but it's far too blustery for that. Arrrrgh. Not the pirate "Arrrrrrgh." The frustrated "Arrrrgh." In the end, I suppose this is a good thing becasue before she left to go rub nekkid people at the massage parlour, The Other (Younger) Half gave us a list of things to be done around the house. So far, I've done dishes, a load of laundry and vacuumed. "I'm helping mommy!" is what I excitedly tell anyone within earshot. The girls have been cleaning their rooms. There's still a bunch of stuff to do, and the girls have a boatload of homework to get done before Monday. I really want to put a dent in all this today because tomorrow is KyKy's big homecoming and Sunday is Easter.

Kent called this morning to say that KyKy's flight was delayed for an hour and a half, but they would probably hold the connecting flight in Tokyo. This is what I don't understand. He called us about 29 hours, real time, before KyKy was due to arrive in our fair city. According to NWA, the total flight time plus layover is 16 hours. So she gets on the plane for her 16 hour journey and it takes 29 hours? How is it that 16 hours of flying equals 29 hours back here? Is there some wierd time warp between here and Shanghai? Do thing happen faster on the plane so that 29 hours are compressed into 16? I tell you what, if that's the case, The Other (Younger) Half would be buying weekly tickets to cram in some extra hours into her week. I realize you all think I'm retarded to begin with, but maybe this wrinkle in the space time continuum explains my slowness to pick up on things.

My last full day...

Today was my last full day in China. I am really excited to go home,but I am so sad to leave. I have learned so much and seen so many things. This is one trip I will not forget. Last night I was up really late packing, so this morning I slept in until 9:30. By that time everyone had left and it was just me and Jessica. At 11:15 Jessica and I left for Jessamyn and Emma's school. I went to have lunch with Jessie and got a personal tour of the school. I also got to see Emma a few times in the lunch room. After Jessie had left for class, Aunt Ann and I went to my dress fitting. I love my dress! When we went Judy did not have it all the way finished so she would be able to make some changes before I left. I can't wait to show it to you when I get home. Luckily it didn't take too long. When we where done Uncle Kent came to get us and we went kite shopping. In China kites are a really big thing. On a really nice day you will see kites everywhere. I thought it might be a good idea to get one to bring home. After much bargaining we got some kites. When we got back home it was only minutes before Jessie and Emma Came home. Then we went on a bike ride with Uncle Kent down and around the neighborhood and down by a little village. On the way home we where riding behind a woman and an old lady yelled out that some foreigners where following her! When we got home time was filledup with homework and packing until dinner. For diner we went to my favorite restaurant The Four Seasons Rural Restaurant. They have the best beans. On the way home we danced to the Wizard of Oz and laughed until we all fell over. Now we are all sitting at home and relaxing before tomorrow. The next time I write will probably be from home. I miss you all and can't wait to see you.
Love
Kysa

Day 9? or 10?...

I have been looking at a calender and I might have been putting the wrong numbers for each day. I tried to get on the blog to check but this computer will not let me. Hopefully I am right. Since I am a little behind on my writing this was what I did yesterday, Wednesday.
Yesterday was a fun day. Uncle Kent and Aunt Ann are having a bed made for them out in the country. And today they went out to look at it to see if any adjustments needed to be made. On the way there we took a country road so I would be able to see what the country looks like in China. Since I am so used to seeing the city, this was a nice change. My favorite parts of China are the little alleys and the country villages. This country road reminded me a lot of what I saw in the city but this time is was in the country. People selling fruit, restaurants, laundry hanging out to dry, pool tables everywhere, and bike repair shops. This little village also had a lot of lumber to sell. It was a recycled wood. There was also a junkyard full of doors. Sadly I never got out to take any pictures. I should have though. In this village they even had a tiny amusement park. When we got to the work shop we found out that the bed was too small. Uncle Kent couldn't fit on it. While they tried to work everything out I went and looked around. The guy who owns the place also had an antique area. It was really fun to look through the stuff in there.When we where done getting the bed figured out we went to Emma's soccer games. At Emma and Jessie's school only the middle school and up can be on a soccer team. But the fifth graders have little teams of their own. And every so often have a day when they play against the other schools. These are not the normal length games. They are about 1 minutes each and are so the kids who like soccer are able to play. For a while Uncle Kent, Aunt Ann and I went and watched. I got some really cool photos of Emma with the ball. After that Aunt Ann and I went to the Pearl Market. This is a market where there is a whole floor that is for jewelry. They had some funky stuff there. It was really fun. After that we came back home. When we got back Jessie needed help with her math homework so the two of us work together on it. It was fun to do together, but her math teacher gave her too much! I figure this is a way to help me with my math too, and I don't have to turn it in! After all the homework was done we all went out to eat at this Korean restaurant. At this restaurant you cook the food at your own table. My favorite where the mushrooms! After dinner we stopped at this store to see birds nests. In China there is a certain type of birds nest that are delicacies. This bird spits up this gunk and forms a nest with it. And people pay lots of money to have some. I think fried chicken bones are my limit. On the way to the car Jessie, Emma, Uncle Kent and I danced to the Wizard of OZ.

The rest of day 8...

I can't remember where I left off but I think I was telling you about the dress. After we left the fabric market, Aunt Ann, Jessica and I walked down a little side road. This road is one that you would typically see in China. It was a residential road. Let me set the picture. A long road, you can't see the end because there are so many twists and turns. Numbers all over the white and dirty walls. People sitting, selling, walking or doing laundry. Pink underwear hanging from a line drying. Farther down are some sheets.The smell of cooking fish and rice is everywhere. That is only a little description of what I saw. I did take lots of photos though so I will have lots to show you. I was curious about the numbers all over the walls. Jessica told me that the numbers where the numbers of people selling things or people who could fix your bike. It was like the yellow pages on a white wall. After we came out of that road we when down a wider but even more crowded road that had food everywhere. Stalls and stalls of food lined the road. And everyone everywhere was eating and buying the food. Right when we came out onto the street we saw this huge vertical skewer with meat stacked one on top of the other. All down the street where colors and the smell of food. If you really want to see the real China that is where to go. We walked around there for a bit and after a while started to get hungry.So we went to a restaurant that sold bao zi. The veggie ones where my favorite. After that we walked around a bit more but started to get tiered so we headed home. For dinner that night Uncle Kent made some Chinese food. It was delicious.

Day 9...

Tuesday was a very long day! But a fun one. After I woke up Aunt Ann, Jessica, and I went down to the fabric market to pick up Uncle Kent's shirts and to pick out fabric for me. Aunt Ann thought it would be really fun to get a Chinese style dress for me before I leave. I loved the idea so we started looking for some fabric. When you are at a fabric store it is tricky to get your dress made. The reason is that all the shop owners have an agreement that if you buy fabric from someone else they will not make you a dress. Only will they make you a dress if it is out of their fabric. After three people we finally found some beautiful fabric.The only problem is that the shop owner would not make the dress for us at the price we wanted. We decided it was best to buy the fabric and go on to Judy. Judy is one of the only shop owners that will take your cloth and make you a dress. The only problem was that she was gone when we went to ask her. Since we only had three days left to get this done in before I left for home, we waited. And waited and waited. After 45 minutes she finally came. She had just come back from picking up another clients clothes. Judy does not make the clothes herself, but has workers who do it for her.Finally she was ready to help us. After much measuring and corrections. The dress was ready to be sent out. I have decided this will be the dress I will wear to graduation in June. I forgot all about describing the fabric. It is a dark purple cloth with green and lighter purple fireworks on it. The inside lining will be a light lime green to match the fireworks. An interesting thing I learned was that in china girls of certain ages have certain colors to wear. All pastel for my age group. But not for me, if I am going to wear purple it will be dark. I nee to go I will finish writing later.

Day 8...

I am sorry that these entries have been a little late but it is hard to sit down at a computer without falling asleep. The only time I am able to sit down and write is right before bed. Starting on Monday Aunt Ann did not have to work because this week is her Spring Break. So Monday morning came and we had the whole day to do whatever. Do you remember when I went on a walk to the river side and saw all the city lighted up at night? Aunt Ann and I decided that we would go to the other side of the river during the day time. All these last two weeks we have had great weather for photos. But to day ws our yuck day. Everything was covered in mist and haze. Even with all that we decided to brave the weather and take a look. When we got there there was nit much to look at! We could barley see the other side. We shrugged our shoulders and said we tried, and moved on to Nan Jing road. This road is the biggest shopping road in Shanghai. Everything there is more look at stuff than buying stuff.It is a great road to walk down. At night it would be even better because all the signs and lights would be on. It is a fun road to walk down and look around. After a while Aunt Ann and I started to get really hungry. Since I had never tried Dim Sum before that is what we decide to do. At first I thought Dim sum was a type of food, but it isn't. It is a way of eating. When you have Dim Sum you order many, many different foods. Instead of getting a normal serving size you get one or two of a certain thing. Say you order bao zi. When the waiter gives you the bao zi there is only one bowdza for each person at your table. That way you can try many different things and not get too full too fast. It was delicious. I even tried fried chicken bone! I advise you not to try it. It is very chewy and crunchy. Like you are chewing on bones and tendons. Yum? After that we went to a market and bargained some more, my favorite.And after a few hours we headed on home. That night everyone was all tiered. A long day of work, walking and school wore everyone out.

The Great Twin Cities Child Exchange

There are days when I can't keep track of my own family. The kids are on Spring Break from school this week, and no we did not let them go down to South Padre Island to audition for "Girls Gone Wild." Yesterday evening: The Other (Younger) Half at school, The Madster and 'Nika to the Y with the neighbors for swimming and general goofing off. Last night: 'Nika at home, The Madster overnight at the neighbor's house. Today: 'Nika at the Dreadful Man and Evil Grandmother's house (not my names for them), The Madster off to the Bakery with neighbors, The Other (Younger) Half running around fulfilling school nursing requirements. This evening: Me, The Madster, 'Nika and hopefully The Other (Younger) Half at DM and EG's house for dinner. Tonight: 'Nika at home with two cousins for sleep over, The Madster overnight at DM and EG's. KyKy still on loan to China. Got that?

Naturally because of all the running around, there was no biking today. It doesn't matter. It's rainy with the possibility of snow. Bleh.

Day 7...

Well as of yesterday I have been gone for a whole week. It seems much longer. I have been doing so much in such a little time that it is as if I have been here for weeks and weeks. I also am still confuzzled about the dates and time. I am still waking up every morning at about 6. I try and force my self to sleep more but I am always to excited to get going. The last time I wrote I had just finished my big day in Beijing. Yesterday,Sunday, after waking up and having breakfast at the hotel,
(It was the best.I tried some new food that many people in China eat for breakfast.)Uncle Kent and Aunt Ann explained the Forbidden City to me. For those of you who do not know the Forbidden City is where the Emperors of China lived. And when they say the Forbidden CITY they are not joking! It is huge, and literally is a city. I am sure that the Emperors did not even know about most of the rooms in the city.Anyway, no one was allowed into the inner parts of the city unless you where a Unic,Concubine or the Emperor.The Forbidden City has many layers. The outer layers or courts would be the places where the servants and live stock lived. In the inner courts would be the living area of the Emperor and his personal servants,concubines and unics. From here the Emperor ruled his country, never leaving and few ever entering. Some interesting facts about the Forbidden City and the Emperor are,1. All his food needed to be tested before he ate the food. 2. There are 3 bridges(I think) in the Forbidden City going over a river. The Emperor is the only one who can go down the middle bridge. Everyone else has to go on the others. 3. All the doors in the City have thresholds that are raised so that the evil spirits who fly along the ground can't get through. 4. The royal color of the Emperor is yellow.5.On the doors are gold balls. Each row has 9 because 9 is one of the luckiest numbers. Finally,there is a Starbucks in the middle of the Forbidden City. Yes, no joke. In the middle of the City is a building that looks like all the others, but inside it is a Starbucks and a gift shop.Ever since I came to China I have been looking forward to going to the Forbidden City. When we got there I was a little disappointed. Everything there was so new looking, and perfect. The farther back we got the paint was older and faded. I liked that much better because it looked more authentic. Something I really liked was that there were stones on the pavement that looked like the originals. They where old and rough. It was really cool sitting there and imagining that Emperors used to walk on these same stones. We didn't have enough time to go and look at all the artifacts that they had in the museum areas. Sadly while we where there some of the bigger buildings where under construction so I was not able to get pictures of those. Some day I would like to go back. Also while we where at the Forbidden City we saw some tourists from other parts of China, and they where wearing their traditional clothes. They where so beautiful. One woman was wearing a while slip,and over it where strings of white and blue beads all around her slip. It was a skirt of beads. After we left the Forbidden City Jessie, Emma, and Uncle Kent went back to the hotel to swim, and Aunt Ann and I went to the Silk market again to look around. After that we had to drive out to the airport. We wanted to take the train back to Shanghai but Jessie and Emma had school today, and if we had taken the train we would not have gotten back in time for them to get to school. Our plane was supposed to leave at 6:00pm but we didn't get on the plane until 7:30. Then we sat on the plane until 8:30, and didn't get home until 10:00pm, when we where supposed to get back at 8:30! I don't remembered if I told you this or not but in China there are not lines, you budge. We stood up early to get in line and suddenly out of nowhere a huge family comes up and stands right in front of me and starts pushing me back. But when it was time to board I shoved them right back and only let one of them in front of me. I was not about to give them my long earned spot. Most of the people on our plane had never ridden one before. You could tell because they where very loud and forgot to put their seat belts on, and stood up while the plane was landing. A good thing to know if you ever go to China is that when you are on the plane let most of the people out before you. Everyone shoves and pushes like crazy to be the first ones off. That wraps up my trip the Beijing. It was lots of fun and I got tons of photos, I can't wait to come home and show them all to you. I miss you all very much!
xoxoxoxoxox
Kysa

The rest of day 6...

As we were riding up the mountain to the Great Wall I was to antsy to sit in my seat. The sky was blue, the sky was clear, and I had a camera. I was so worried that it was all too god to be true and that by the time I got to the top it would all be gone. And when we got to the top I saw a better sight. There was hardly anyone there! I had a great opportunity for photos without people and a blue sky, a photographers dream!At the top of the Great Wall we remembered that it was Grandma's birthday, so we quick got out Uncle Kent's cell phone and sang a very loud Happy Birthday from the Great Wall of China. For the next two hours we walked and walked. And I took tons of photos. After taking so many there is a hope that some will turn out. On the way back to the car we stopped at a few vendors. I had something I really thought Maddie and Anika might like so we went through three vendors until we got the price we wanted. I won't tell you what I got because it is supposed to be a surprise. After another hour and a half of driving we where finally back to our hotel in Beijing. We swam and swam until dinner. For dinner we went out to a restaurant that serves roast duck. To get there you have to go through the silk market. The silk market is a market in side huge building and on each floor you can buy something different. One floor is clothes another bags and so on. Walking through the market all you hear is vendors yelling laydee laydee how much you want, or I remember you I have a good price. A vendor even said that she remembered us, we had never seen her before. When we got to the restaurant we where able to see the cook cut up the duck right at our table. When we ate the duck we first dunked the duck into soy sauce, and then put it onto a thin rice pancake. Then we added onions,and cucumbers. Then we wrapped it up like a burrito and ate it all up. It was delicious. I had never tasted duck before so this was my first time. And that is what our only full day in Beijing was like. I will write about day seven soon.
Lots of love,
Kysa

The rest of day 5 and most of day 6...

Here I am back from Beijing and super tiered. After I left you last, all the Kedl's and myself finished up our packing for Beijing. Somehow we narrowed everything down so that we each had a bag. Jessie and I decided to pack together and we packed way to much. I don't know if told you but instead of flying to Beijing we took the train. I have never ridden a real train before so this was all new to me. I loved it! The train ride was a 12 hour ride, from 7pm to 7am. In our room we had four bunks and a little table. All of us girls shared the one room, since there wasn't enough room for Uncle Kent he had to share a room with some other people. Since the train took off so late we where not able to see the city in daylight. But we did get to see all the city lights which was just as nice. I finally peeled my eyes away form the window when we left the city because there was no light to see by.After that train ride I am convinced it is the best type of travel. In the morning I was able to wake-up in time to see some of the country side before we got to the city. It was really interesting passing all of the villages in the train. They are so much different from the city. All of the houses are built together and in rows and the fields are to the sides. We also saw a lot of graves but the side of the train. When we got to the train station there where so many people. After we found our driver we stopped quickly at the hotel to drop off our bags and then from there we left for the Great Wall. After a two hour drive we arrived. Before you even get to the Great Wall entrance you have to go up a steep hill trough half of the vendors. There are many different places to enter the wall, we entered at the Mu Tian Yu enterance.It is quite an experience having people yell at you to buy there Great Wall shirts. After we got through the entrance we went through another round of vendors to get to the chair lift. Since I am a photographer I love good light and no people in my scenery. And that is just what I got at the Great Wall!

April Is The Cruelest Month

No foolin'. The Other (Younger) Half rang in April Fools Day by doing an all night shadowing shift at the U of M Hospital. She hates working all night long. Yesterday was cool and rainy and there are more showers on the way today. Instead of running to the mall to buy needless crap, The Madster and 'Nika and I watched old M*A*S*H* re-runs yesterday while the rain fell outside. Good teevee writing stands the test of time and the first few seasons of M*A*S*H* with Larry Gelbart producing are gold. In the evening they played the game Life. They get to the end of the game and don't even bother to count up the money. For them it's about naming the kids and grandkids and creating the family tree. They have notebooks filled with their families.

The trip to NC has yet to be blogged about yet, although I have photographic evidence that they really did go there. I spent part of the morning downloading pictures from the girls cameras, tossing away about 5 dozen shots of their face-making, self-portraits. I'll threaten to not feed them if they don't write about this trip soon. We can post some of those pics too. Suzy, please email The Other (Younger) Half as to whether you want a picture of your nose hairs posted on the internets.

KyKy called from China this morning sounding very, very tired. They had just gotten back from Beijing. We are expecting details in the next few days.