Land of Biking Enchantment - Then I Get Crabby

Today was the one Saturday of the month where 'Nika and The Madster did not need to be at karate. This means it's the one Saturday I get to sneak down to the far reaches of S. Mpls to Hiawatha Cyclery to go on their Saturday morning ride. On any given Saturday, the ride is populated by a bunch of middle-aged men (except for Jim T, who hasn't quite met the middle-age threshold) who are witty, wonderful conversationalists that have a love, even a passion, for biking. The rides entail meeting at HC, riding to a coffee shop for treats and conversation, then riding back to the HC - flapping your jaws the whole time. (Neil - Lunatic Biker, VelociPete and of course Mellow Velo were on the ride this a.m.) Anyway, I got up early to be able to get to the ride. The weather dorks had predicted snow overnight, and they didn't lie. There was enough snow so that the plows of Mpls were out scraping the main arteries before I rolled out of bed. I was afraid that the snow would be too deep, and the ride would not happen. I pulled myself out of bed, got dressed and hoped for the best. I was not disappointed. The ride down to Hiawatha Cyclery would fall short of the designation "magical," but it was damn close. When I left home, the snow was not too deep and it was the heavy, wet kind, totaling about an inch or maybe an inch and a half. The winter beater with the studded tires ate that crap up with no problem. What was so enchanting about the ride was the fact that it was early enough for there to be virtually no traffic, all the while the snow was falling in large wet flakes. And it was warm, (right around 32F) with no wind. The combination of no wind and heavy wet snow left the trees and shrubs flocked with a white loveliness. It was a very enjoyable ride down to HC except for the fact that my glasses fogged up and were pelted with snowflakes, so I was reduced to putting my head down and looking over the top of my glasses so I could see where I was going. I'm fairly sure that without my glasses I approach the threshold of legal blindness, so looking over the top of my glasses only gives me a slight advantage to looking through the mess that was on them. I got to the ride early, so I was able to take in the quiet of the snow falling illuminated by the streetlights, which happens to be one of my favorite ways of enjoying a snowfall in the city. The ride itself was nothing special. We decided to simply go to Melo-Glaze, possibly the greatest doughnut place on earth, to drink coffee and eat treats. We did, and afterwards, we made our way back to HC. The ride home from the shop was a bit dicey. The plows had come through, pushing all the slushy snow to the side of the road where bikers ride. I stayed on the bike paths and side streets to avoid the high traffic areas. The temperature had dropped about 8 degrees from the time I had left the house, so the side streets were starting to resemble skating rinks. Blech.

Now the crabby part. 'Nika's cousin Gabby had a birthday party today, and it was celebrated at one of those bear-building stores found in malls all across this land. 'Nika and I left early since I thought that the combination of weather and traffic (this being the last Saturday before X-mas) would slow us down considerably. I was wrong. We were there about 20 minutes before the start of the party, and as it turns out, Auntie Clary was 20 minutes late. Yipeee!!!! I get to spend three quarters of an hour in a temple of consumerism doing absolutely nothing but waiting!!!! Now normally I try to think the best of folks and not judge people by their appearance. But to be perfectly honest, every person I saw today at Rosedale was ugly. Nay fugly. It was all perception and context though. I realize that most of the herd today was out buying X-mas presents for someone other than themselves, but I always associate malls with aimless wandering to spend money on crap that is not really needed. It is a totally selfish, solopsistic purchase. (It occurred to me today that the phrase "That is sooooo cute on you," is uttered dozens, maybe even hundreds of times during the day at any given mall) These benighted consumers are bored and think that the cure for boredom is shopping (Ride your damn bikes and save some money fer crying out loud. What a great way to cure boredom!) and that, in my opinion, makes a person ugly, no matter how physically attractive they may be.

I escaped from the mall, the whole the way home feeling like I need to take a shower because of my presence there. When I get home, TOYH asks if I can run to the store for a couple of things. Grrrrrrr. All I want to do is come home, forget about having been to a mall, and do the crossword puzzle in the paper. But no, TOYH needs a pound and a half of flax seed for Christmas present for Opa. (Ha! Bet you can't figure out what's going on with that) She also needs a bum-jug of burgundy wine. This development, as it turns out, will brighten my day considerably. I set to my appointed tasks, cursing all the way. When I get home, I find out that the wine is for making mulled wine. This, in and of itself, is not significant. But given the recent flame war in the comment section over the superiority of "It's A Wonderful Life" vs. "White Christmas," it becomes crucially important in the game of one-upsmanship I've been playing with my sisters. I am totally vindicated and proven right in the petty, nonsensical, invalid, unprovable argument over which movie is better. The crowning achievement, the piece-de-resistance, the in your face, conclusion to this dispute is that my sister Tracy, who defends "White Christmas," asked TOYH to bring mulled wine to our family Christmas celebration. Mulled wine is what Clarence the Angel in "It's A Wonderful Life" orders at Nick's bar. Ha. She's asking for something that a main character orders and therefore tacitly acknowledges the superiority of my movie. Bwahahahahahaha. I win simply because I make the most ridiculous argument in the history of humankind to win my point.

Merry Christmas

And tomorrow is my birthday.

Edit - If you want to refer to the dispute about Christmas movies and my complete and total victory, see the post "Man It Was Cold"