Here's the scoop...

In the words of Shakespeare (Hamlet I believe...), and oft quoted by my mother, "'Tis true 'tis pity, and pity 'tis 'tis true." As The Old Man (TOM) said, the Evil Grandmother (EG) has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, with pretty diffuse proliferation into the liver. We had been hoping for a few confined lesions in the liver, but not so. I think the real "Aha" crushing moment of realization for both me and my mom was when we looked at the PET scan and the CAT scan. Her liver was covered with dense areas of proliferation. Not fun to see, but reality has to kick in at some point, and that did it. We're adjusting to the idea of the EG not having a curable diagnosis, but rather having a metastatic disease. My parents' pragmatism and no-nonsense way of approaching life stands in their good stead at this point. They've grasped the severity of the diagnosis but are fully living with the hope of treatment. My dad said that his prayer has been that they would be able to look objectively at this process and find peace in any outcome. They talk openly about the good life they've had, and about the continued quality, albeit different, that they will continue to have. They fully opt for quality over quantity, and are making plans to get the new digital camera for mom, and a hybrid car for continued travel over the USA.

Mom started her chemo yesterday, and we sat with her for the 6 hour process. She's getting a chemo drug for the estrogen+ markers for the primary breast cancer, and Herceptin for the HER2/NEU+ markers. The HER2+ nature of her cancer is what caused the liver metastases and the aggressiveness of the spread. Some good news is that we don't find spread to any other vital organ at this point! The breast tumor will not be removed at this point. It serves as the "canary in the coal mine," and will be the gauge for the chemo treatments. When the tumor is gone, they wll do scans of the liver, etc. to determine the state of the remaining mets. Either more chemo or surgery/ablation may be indicated at that point. As mom says, "It is what it is, and we will deal with it accordingly." Never a more practical word spoken.

The excruciating process of confronting my mother's mortality has, ironically, been a good lesson is living. She is now living with a death sentence. She can live with it for 2 years, or for 20 years. In the end, it's about the living part, not the dying part. Mortality certainly needs to be confronted and outright reckoned with, but it doesn't have to rob us of the life we now have. My parents have been stellar examples of this as they soldier through life, defining the important things of quality, instead of grasping for mere quantity. None of us are guaranteed anything past this moment we have now. Go spend time with your kids. Re-appreciate your spouse and why you loved him/her to begin with. Find quality time with your parents. It's what we have. We are responsible for creating the lives we want to live.

Sorry for the philosophizing... Thanks for all the support and prayers. Mark, let Cheryl know that she is in our prayers as well.