PSSSSSST

It's someone's birthday today.

Take That Mother Nature

When I got home from work/bringing the girls to Karate on Friday, I put the air conditioners in the windows. It was not deathly hot in the house when I did it, so I was actually being "proactive." Hot weather was forecast for today. When I was installing them, I only swore a couple of times and I wasn't completely drenched in sweat when I finished. (See this previous post: http://doyoureallythinkthisisinteresting.blogspot.com/2007/06/feelin-hot-hot-hot.html) Not to be outdone in the thrust and parry that is my battle with her, Mother Nature cooled it off today from the forecast mid 90's to upper 80's, but threw in a strong south wind to torment me on my bike ride home. Curses! So I may not need the air conditioning today like I expected, but I'm sure that day will come this summer, and I'll be ready. I'll call this round a draw.

It's always a crappy weekend when TOYH has to work her 3 shifts at the hospital, and this weekend was no exception. Once again we were kinda spread out. 'Nika spent the last 2 days and nights in Waconia at a friends birthday bash. The older two girls and I went up to visit the EG and DM on Saturday morning. I stayed for a bit and then took off to run some errands. DM brought them back in the afternoon so KyKy could go to a party of a different sort. It sounded like a Latino version of a debutante ball, she'll have to explain it. Sunday morning TOHY and the girls went to visit EG and DM. I took off on a 59 mile bike ride to make up for the lack of riding the past couple of days. We are happy to report that the EG is feeling good, a bit tired though. The big worry was nausea, and so far she hasn't really experienced it. This apparently is a problem early on in chemo, so if she can get the drugs without feeling sick, it's a big, big plus.

The weekend was capped off by a visit from a friend from church, Carol. Some of the women in our little church clique got together last weekend to do one of those mass food prep things where everyone brings a lot of one kind of meal. The meals are then divvied up between participants and each family gets a bunch of ready to eat meals to sock away in the freezer. Well this group made enough for themselves, plus enough for us and a bunch for the EG and DM. We got a ton of food. We hardly had room in the freezer for all of it. Thanks y'all. You're the best. You made what could have been a perfectly craptastic weekend without TOYH a great one, and one that will take a bunch of pressure off of her. We'll have you over for dinner.

Whoopie....100th Post

At least that's what Blogger is telling me we're up to when I sign in. TOYH has now given you a better picture of what is going on with the Evil Grandmother. (I feel you need to know, Dear Reader, that the reason she calls herself the EG is that when the children were younger and spending a lot of time at Grandpa & Grandma's, the EG did not spoil them in the least. She has rules, and she must be obeyed. This is not to say that she doesn't devote any time to them or take them out to buy fun things. She does, and the kids love her dearly for that. She just doesn't fit the stereotype of the grandparent who spoils the grandchildren rotten by indulging their every wish. She's not afraid to say no.) This whole situation has kind of forced its way to the front of our lives, as it should. But the last thing the EG wants us to do is to stop everything and pay attention to her. So we haven't, and I'll give you a bit of a run down.

KyKy is babysitting for two different families a total of 3 days a week. By the end of the summer, I think I'll ask her to pay off the home equity line of credit we've run up in the last couple of years. She should have some money left over.

The Madster and 'Nika are going to be pretty busy this summer. Both of them are participating in Youth Farm (they are growing vegetables, not youth, but the youth are growing while growing vegegables) and karate. They are quite keen on both these activities. They're making new friends outside of the school/church/neighborhood cohort, and soon they'll be able to beat up friends new and old with their karate skillz.

TOYH is trying to fill her internship hours and also rub nekkid people. It's not an easy schedule. Every 14 day pay period she works eight 8 hour shifts. The shifts are from 3pm to 11pm, and she has to work every other Friday, Saturday and Sunday. 8 out of 14 days may sound like a nice break from a 40 hour grind, but when the shift is in the evening, it stinks. It reminds me of my days working in the ER at Fairview Southdale. Shudder.

TOYH's big brother Kent and his two girls are now in town from China. Ann is coming tomorrow. The girls stayed at our place last night. It was a very pleasant evening, well at least it was outside. The electricity was off in the neighborhood from about 7-9:30 last evening. One couldn't have asked for a nicer night to have the power go out. The temperature was very comfortable and it was the longest day of the year. We had daylight for 15 1/2 hours yesterday. When the power went out, bunches of neighbors all left their dead teevees, computers, video games etc. to enjoy the evening outside. Kids were playing up and down the sidewalks and in the yards. We chatted with a few of the neighbors while we were out on the porch. I guess I must really be a city person. I find it strange to be in the house when it so quiet. No fans or refrigerators humming, no music playing no teevee or computer noise. It was comforting to be outside with the noise of the kids and the traffic that never stops. The lights came back on just as it was getting kinda dark. Then we all went back to our electronic gizmos inside.

Here's the scoop...

In the words of Shakespeare (Hamlet I believe...), and oft quoted by my mother, "'Tis true 'tis pity, and pity 'tis 'tis true." As The Old Man (TOM) said, the Evil Grandmother (EG) has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, with pretty diffuse proliferation into the liver. We had been hoping for a few confined lesions in the liver, but not so. I think the real "Aha" crushing moment of realization for both me and my mom was when we looked at the PET scan and the CAT scan. Her liver was covered with dense areas of proliferation. Not fun to see, but reality has to kick in at some point, and that did it. We're adjusting to the idea of the EG not having a curable diagnosis, but rather having a metastatic disease. My parents' pragmatism and no-nonsense way of approaching life stands in their good stead at this point. They've grasped the severity of the diagnosis but are fully living with the hope of treatment. My dad said that his prayer has been that they would be able to look objectively at this process and find peace in any outcome. They talk openly about the good life they've had, and about the continued quality, albeit different, that they will continue to have. They fully opt for quality over quantity, and are making plans to get the new digital camera for mom, and a hybrid car for continued travel over the USA.

Mom started her chemo yesterday, and we sat with her for the 6 hour process. She's getting a chemo drug for the estrogen+ markers for the primary breast cancer, and Herceptin for the HER2/NEU+ markers. The HER2+ nature of her cancer is what caused the liver metastases and the aggressiveness of the spread. Some good news is that we don't find spread to any other vital organ at this point! The breast tumor will not be removed at this point. It serves as the "canary in the coal mine," and will be the gauge for the chemo treatments. When the tumor is gone, they wll do scans of the liver, etc. to determine the state of the remaining mets. Either more chemo or surgery/ablation may be indicated at that point. As mom says, "It is what it is, and we will deal with it accordingly." Never a more practical word spoken.

The excruciating process of confronting my mother's mortality has, ironically, been a good lesson is living. She is now living with a death sentence. She can live with it for 2 years, or for 20 years. In the end, it's about the living part, not the dying part. Mortality certainly needs to be confronted and outright reckoned with, but it doesn't have to rob us of the life we now have. My parents have been stellar examples of this as they soldier through life, defining the important things of quality, instead of grasping for mere quantity. None of us are guaranteed anything past this moment we have now. Go spend time with your kids. Re-appreciate your spouse and why you loved him/her to begin with. Find quality time with your parents. It's what we have. We are responsible for creating the lives we want to live.

Sorry for the philosophizing... Thanks for all the support and prayers. Mark, let Cheryl know that she is in our prayers as well.

Sigh

Today we found out that The Other (Younger) Half's, mother, The Evil Grandmother, has Stage 4 breast cancer. In short, what that means is that the breast cancer has spread to her liver. This was not unexpected news; the results of the scans and biopsies have been trickling in and were pointing in this direction, but nonetheless, it is a punch in the stomach to all of us. The doctors are going to forego a liver biopsy, and get her onto chemo as soon as possible. It's still all very early in the process, so we don't know what to think, but those initial words are such a shock that we're still trying to take this all in. Thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated, not only for the EG, but for the TOYH as well. Thanks.

We've all got to maintain hope about this situation. Oma is still soldiering on against her cancer and is doing quite well, and Cheryl, my brother-in-law's sister (whom I reported about earlier) is doing much better after initially hearing some rather bleak reports. Anyone who has been in this situation knows that the waiting after the first news is miserable.

Feelin' Hot, Hot, Hot

We've had above average temps this week, 90's since Monday and 91 predicted today. I hesitate to call it a heat wave since it's only been in the lower 90's. (To the Georgia contingent of the family: Don't even start. We know how hot it is down there. That's why I didn't call this a heat wave. You poor people go from your air conditioned house in your air conditioned car to your air conditioned office. There would be no "New South" if there were no air conditioning.) This was a good week to have the warm weather, because generally nobody has been home during the heat of the day, except the dogs, and they're in their basement lair. I still haven't stuck the air conditioners in, not because I'm so energy conscious, but because this is my most hated household chore. It involves wrasslin' those things into the windows and stuffing blocks of wood, foam, old socks, duct tape or anything handy around the units to seal them off. It also involves a lot of sweat and cursing. Typically, I wait until it's unbearably hot, like about 95 in the house, before I "install" them. When they're finally in, we usually get the temp inside down to a balmy 88 or 89. So far we haven't met the threshold for really needing them. Even though it's been warm this week, the humidity has been low. At night we open up the windows, turn on the industrial size exhaust fan (thanks Ann & Kent), and cool the house down quite nicely overnight. In the morning we button up the house, and by the time we get home in the evening, it's not too terribly hot in there.

There was a night a few years ago when a transformer in the neighborhood blew and our power went out at bedtime. Pure misery. No air conditioning, no fans, no breeze. It was eerily quiet, except for the sound of sweating while lying in bed. Yes, you could hear yourself sweat. If Oma would ever comment on this trashy blog, she would remind us all that growing up in Iowa where it's hotter and more humid, they had no electricity on the farm until she was 10 or whatever. Ahh the good old days. I must say, her situation comes in handy when the kids start complaining about how hot the house is. "Well you know Oma......."

Biking in this weather has been surprisingly easy. Yeah, I need to drink lots of water, but the cooling effect of the breeze while riding keeps me quite comfortable. In weather like this when I worked at FedEx, I would drink 6 liters of water during my shift and still be dehydrated. Can't say I miss that about working there.

Schoooool's Out For Summer

Thank you Alice Cooper. Yesterday was the last day of school for the kids. It's been a busy couple of days. Monday we were up at Russ and Jill's for dinner. The kids splashed around in the big inflatable pool and in the hot tub too. Why the hot tub when it was 90 degrees, I don't know. KyKy and I were late getting up there because it was the 8th grade trip to Valleyfair. Apparently she passed this grueling school event because she was given her certificate yesterday saying she had passed 8th grade.

So yesterday was the 8th grade "commencement" at school. Talk about bittersweet. The kids are all excited about the end of the school year, but this year is also marking the breakup of the Gang of Four teachers who have been holding down 7th and 8th grades at Emerson for 8 years. Teachers cried. Students cried. Parents cried. It was sad having to watch the end of an era. KyKy gave a short commencement speech, and she and The Other (Younger) Half gave flowers to the Gang of Four. Believe it or not, I actually posted pictures of the end of school year events over on the Picasa page link on the left. Don't get your hopes up. I took the pictures. They're crappy.

Today marks yet another milestone in our family life. I biked to work today. TOHY will bike to work this afternoon, and KyKy biked to her babysitting job. Maybe we can get rid of one of the vehicles.

Family, Family, Family

Sorry about the dearth of posts here Dear Reader, but with the end of the school year for the children and the beginning of The Other (Younger) Half's internship, it's been quite busy. I neglected to write something about The Madster and 'Nika's performances at Festival Latino at school. This was an all day event of performances, eating and kids running 'round doing anything but school work. Each grade worked up some kind of performance related to a Spanish speaking country. The 7th and 8th grade girls (sans KyKy) did some hoochie-koo dance to a Puerto Rican rap song. (Yawn. Although I did notice that the Middle School boys were paying close attention to this particular presentation. They quickly lost interest in the program when the second graders got up to do their thing.) I forget what country The Madster's class was representing, but they danced to a decidedly non-rap tune wearing white blouses and black gauchos. I took some crappy pictures with one of the kid's cameras. Their performance was outside, there were tons of people there and there was a tent-type thing set up in the parking lot to shade the youngsters while they sat watching the program. The pics are sitting on the laptop, just waiting to be viewed by you, as soon as I post them. I had a couple of hours between The Madster and 'Nika's performances, and since I had to move the car or get a parking ticket, I ran to the office to get the nice camera to take pics of 'Nika's play. They re-enacted a Spanish bullfight in all its bloody glory. The narrators described what was going on (in Spanish) and the kids acted it out. 'Nika was the front half of the bull and avoided serious injury by not falling off the stage or getting stabbed by the picadors. The skit was very instructive. The nice thing about it was that it wasn't cleaned up to not be offensive. This is what they do at bullfights: They poke at the bull with sharp things until it is exhausted, then they kill it. KyKy was not involved at all. She played hooky and went to the Science Museum with her cousin and grandpa. I skipped out on the rest of the day's work and brought the kids home early from school. I was relieved to show up to work the next day and find out the world of used test equipment had not collapsed in my absence.

That was Thursday. Friday, TOYH started her official internship on the floor at Abbott, 3pm to 11pm shifts. I biked from work to a bar in NE Minneapolis to go to a gathering of some of my old FedEx co-workers. From there I went home. All the kids were at a neighbor's birthday party, so I went there and we stayed until about 10pm. The younger two stayed overnight at said birthday boy's house with some of the other neighbor kids. KyKy and I went home. She went to bed and I stayed out on the porch with my friend Matthew to wait for TOYH to come home from work. She's taking the bus home, the infamous #5, even though we only live about 7 blocks from the hospital. Frankly, it's not the bus that makes me paranoid, it's her walk from the bus stop to home that has me worried. Two and a half blocks, but you never know. I've finally got her bike set up to ride to work, and I feel much better about her coming home late on her bike than I do about her waiting for and walking from the bus.

Saturday was the big trip up to Cambridge for my nephew's high school graduation open house. Our little Dando, High School Grad. All my sisters and their families were there, (including Jen all the way from Hot 'Lanta, GA), along with a couple of aunts and uncles that I wasn't expecting to see. Dando the absentee child, who the party was for, was even there. As the open house was winding down, Tracy, Jen and I took our families to Opa and Oma's for a couple of hours.

As much fun as it was to see everyone, there was a pall over the celebration. Daniel's aunt Cheryl had just found out that she has ovarian cancer and that it had spread over her abdomen. I'm getting sick and tired of all of this. Oma is still taking chemo for the cancer that they found in her, and the EG just found out she has a malignant tumor in her breast. While things are looking pretty good right now for Oma and the EG, the news of cancer, the waiting for test results, waiting for surgery/biopsy results, and everything else associated with this disease wears a person down.

Yesterday, TOYH, Madster and 'Nika all rode their bikes to church with a caravan of people. We live only about a mile and a half from church, and the other folks live a little bit farther. But if you add up the miles from 5 short round trips from 5 families, you're getting somewhere. In the afternoon, TOYH was off to the hospital again, and I took the kids up to EG and DM's so KyKy could work on tee-shirts she is going to present to her teachers as a thank you gift.

Tonight we are off to Russ and Jill's to meet up with Jen and Francis. Always a good time when the 3 families get together. Tomorrow is KyKy's 8th grade graduation. Will report on both and maybe try and post some pics.

Good News And More School Stuff

Last night The Madster and KyKy went with the Evil Grandmother to the St Paul Camera Club's award banquet. They came home with a couple of plaques. Madster was named "Newcomer of the Year" and brought home a travelling plaque with her name inscribed on it. She had accumulated enough points in the competitions to earn this honor. KyKy came home with a 3rd place finish in digital photography or something. I didn't read the inscription too closely because I was admiring the plaque so much, and everyone was gushing about The Madster's big win. The EG reported that when the kids' names were announced at the banquet for their wins, there were hoots and hollers from the audience. Everyone was pulling for the youngsters apparently. Mad props to the EG for hauling the kids to the club and to the meetings. Mom and Dad are too busy/tired/lazy.

I passed a "milestone" of sorts yesterday too. As best as I can tell, I've passed the 2000 mile mark biking since January 1. I wasn't keeping track in January or February as closely as the rest of the year, but if anything, I underestimated the miles I rode in those first two months. I'm still hoping to reach 5000 by the end of the year.

I'm still steaming about the whole school situation. In today's Strib there is an article about the windfall the Minneapolis School District has for next year. If the money were spread evenly across the district, each school would get about $100,000. I'm pretty sure that would cover the salary of one teacher at our school. Then the school could keep it's current staffing levels in the middle school grades and keep their precious assistant principal and community liaison staffer on the payroll too. I guess it's all water under the bridge now, since it looks like two of the middle school teacher are leaving, tired of the hassle they've been getting from the administration. There are conspiracy theories floating around that admin wants to cripple Emerson, claim they can't meet standards since over-worked staff cannot keep test scores up, close the school down and then open an immersion school on the North Side. It seems far-fetched, but I'm starting to wonder if it isn't true.

Well, It's Happening

It appears that the middle school teachers at Emerson SILC are jumping ship. I'm not aware of all the circumstances, but The Other (Younger) Half spoke with one of the teachers who is leaving, and in that teacher's opinion, this move has been a long time coming. The administration has been "harrassing" the staff at Emerson for who knows what reason. I don't know what to say. The motto for Minneapolis Public Schools is "Expect Great Things." Well I did, and they are delivering horseshit.

Old Friends

Typical weekend at the Stocking household. Children gone here and there, The Other (Younger) Half tearing up the front yard and me getting out on my bike. The only difference this weekend was that we were able to get together with some long-time friends, Russ & Jill. We've known them since college, and although our families now live only about 25 miles from each other, we get together about once a year. Usually we haul ourselves up to their place kids in tow, and spend a long afternoon and evening there. Saturday we were able to leave the children at home and just the four of us were able to go out. We had a lovely meal at a place called The Corner Table, which is just around the block from where my dad grew up in South Minneapolis. We got back to our place, cracked open some wine and sat out on the porch till about midnight talking and laughing. Nice.

In other news, The Other (Younger) Half is starting her internship at Abbott Northwestern today. She was a bit nervous, naturally, because she thinks she'll be overwhelmed by all the stuff she has to learn in her week of training. Whatever. She's got nothing to worry about. This is the woman who's life constantly looks like she's bitten off more than she can chew, but she always manages to get everything down without choking and then end up taking a couple of more bites for good measure. Note to TOYH: You will not have to learn how to document everything perfectly into ANW's system right off the bat. This is what your internship supervisor is for. Sheesh. Now that that's out of the way, enjoy your learning experience.

Scrumtrulescent

That is the only word I can think of to describe The Madsters' performance in Macbeth. All in all it was an impressive production, considering they started working on it just a little over a month ago. The performances are not at the school, which lacks an venue for such productions, but at the Masonic Temple over by Hennepin and Franklin. They are set up quite well for things like this, lots of back drops that can be raised and lowered for different scenes and an audio system in which they actually mic all the performers. Unfortunately the speakers are not arranged well, so it was hard to hear from where we were sitting. This whole set up must be part of the Mason's good deed doing. There were at least 5 of them there helping out with the sound and such, and I don't think that school had to rent the space.

The version of Macbeth that was produced was the shortened version of the abridgement of the original play. It lasted a little over an hour. Part of the reason for the shortening of the abridgement was that Macbeth didn't learn all his lines. Remember, these are 6-8 graders and they started this a little over a month ago. The Madster remembered all of her lines though, and delivered them neither with a vacant monotone nor the hyper flourish of Master Thespian. Her gestures were very Maddie, but not exaggerated. Scrumtrulescent performance.

I did learn something new from this play. Shakespeare is the origin of the phrase "Who's your daddy?" The First Murderer spoke this epic line as he was dispatching Banquo. I'll have to go back and read Shakespeare again. I didn't realize he was so fly.