Not Much Happening Here

Typical Wednesday night. The kids are at church for Youth Group. The Other (Younger) Half is busy rubbing nekkid people. OK, they're not totally nekkid, they've got a sheet covering them up.

It's ironic, I'm married to a massage therapist, yet my back has been sore for about four days. I keep telling her I need her to rub my back and she agrees to do it, but when I'm ready for her to work on me, she's sleeping. I think she's faking it. It's that fakey snoring she and everybody on her side of the family is known for. Although, come to think of it, she told me she has been cutting the regular coffee with decaf. Now she complains of being tired all the time. Well duh!

At the moment, I'm sitting here watching the snow fall. It is the prelude to the next big "snow event." If we happen to get stranded in our house, we will eat hamburgers. Why hamburgers? Because the neighbors who I rescued from the last "snow event" with my snowblower gave us about 15 pounds of the stuff.

Park Avenue Plague

The latest report from the Stocking Ministry of Health:

The Other (Younger) Half - recovering from cold/body aches
KyKy - skipped student/faculty basketball game today becasue of headache, tiredness
The Madster - recently recovered from cold
"Nika - left school early, tummyache

Me, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. I never get sick. Famous last words you say? Well I've been saying those words for at least 7 years and they haven't caught up with me yet.

These are just the current incarnations of the crud that has been passing through the family for about 2 weeks now. If I were you, I'd buy stock in the Kleenex Corporation, they'll show strong sales figures from this quarter because of us. (Speaking of the stock market, it dropped quite a lot today, apparently on bad news from China. Kent, I'm holding you directly responsible.)

We're expecting another "significant snow event" starting tomorrow. Another 12 inches possible here or somewhere close to here. We'll see. The one thing that is for sure is that the teevee weather people will soil themselves hyping this thing. I'll need to clear off the Stocking family snow gauge (the table next to the grill in the pics above [below?]). If this does come to pass, I'll will again prove my heroic nature and blow the snow here and around the 'hood. Heart attacks once more averted. Or possibly just delayed.

TGAMIF

Or as commonly known in the Stocking household, Thank God Another Monday Is Finished. Wake the kids up at 6:15 am. Send them off to school. I go to work and The Other (Younger) Half stays at home and studies. In the afternoon, the kids are picked up from school by mommy. KyKy is dropped off at a friend's house to do some babysitting. The Madster and 'Nika come home for a bit and then go to their piano lessons at the neighbor's house. The Other (Younger) Half then leaves for school. I leave work early to pick up KyKy from baby sitting and taker her to her viola lesson. Some days I have to stop at home before hand to pick up the viola, and occasionally a sister to go to the lesson. Get back from the lesson and either prepare dinner or finish preparing a dinner that The Other (Younger) Half has started. After dinner, it is crack the whip to get homework and chores done. Then off to bed, hopefully by 8pm for the younger two. 8:05 for me. Bleh. We intentionally loaded up one day of the week to get all this stuff done and concentrate our misery. Mission Accomplished.

Homework...

Well, right now I should be doing my homework, but I haven't posted anything yet so while I am here i should write something. School was crazy today. Out of the four main teachers we have, three of them were gone! So we had three substitutes. Sadly we still have homework! Speaking of homework does anyone have any good ideas for a creative writing essay? We can write about anything. It is part of a writing class for language arts, and I am running out of ideas!

Really, The Last Post Of The Weekend

Just a reminder, you can see photos of our family at:

http://picasaweb.google.com/sfstocking

The winter storm pics, with witty captions, plus some bonus pics are there.

Last Post For The Weekend

Went on the 1pm TCBC ride. Just me and Paul H. I challenge you to find two bigger nerds on the face of the planet. Trails around Minneapolis are o.k. The city and Three Rivers Park District will plow bike trails before non snow emergency routes get done. Thank you municipal governments. But we have had some piddling little snow since last night that covered the trails since they were first plowed, so it wasn't totally smooth sailing. The actual streets of Minneapolis are now treacherous on a bike. Mounds of snowy mashed potatoes with an underlying layer of packed ice/snow. Takes all the skill one has to navigate the mess. I got back home from the ride without landing on my arse once. I can't say that it was skill that got me home in one piece. Dumb luck. Speaking of dumb luck, I have a mea culpa. I was noodling around on the internet tonight and bid on a 29" single speed mountain bike. I happened to win it. I will soon have 3 bikes in my harem. I think I have just passed the threshold into bike geekdom. No comment from anyone unless you have crossed that threshold youself.

As to The Other (Younger) Half's post below (above?)...... I remember every person I graduated with from High School. She remembers license plate numbers. As a matter of fact, she probably knows yours. Who would you rely on to recount the conversation about the snowfall bet?

I report, you decide.

But before you decide on who is correctly recounting events, I should disclose my genetic heritage when it comes to remembering spousal conversations. I leave it up to you, dear reader, as to whether my mother's or father's DNA has been the dominant trait in the genetic mess that is me. Typical conversation follows.

Mom: "I've been telling you every night for the last 3 weeks I have a church meeting tonight."
Dad: "No you haven't."

I report, you decide.

"Steel Trap" Rusted Shut

Yah, so, here's the thing... I beg to differ with, nay, even contest, the Old Man's words in reference to my statement about our recent projected snow fall. His self-professed "mind of a steel trap" is a bit rusted, if you ask me. What I said was NOT that it wouldn't snow, rather that it wouldn't snow AS MUCH as was predicted. There's a distinct difference between the two. (Only an idiot would contest the probability of SOME snow in Minnesota in February, even despite global warming trends). I merely poo-pooed the predicted amount of snow. So there. I am mature enough to admit that I was indeed wrong on that front (pressure front not excluded), and am willing to make good on the bet. I can scrape up a couple bucks' worth of change from either the floor of our van, or from Scott's pants pockets.

As for the pictures... not all participants were duly represented digitally. Some of us were out earlier with SHOVELS, plying metal to pavement, flexing the old lumbar paraspinals, and straining the rotators, in order to clear some of the walkways of excess snow. That didn't get documented, however. No heart attacks, just back attacks. In the end, though, the Old Man did us proud by snow blowing not only OUR large surface areas, but two of the neighbors' as well. He's out there every big snow fall in order to help out the neighbors who are less able, or who only have shovels (our poor culturally-shocked Hispanic neighbors hardly know what to do with a big snow fall!). His usual response to being thanked by everyone is, "Well, I knew there was a good reason for getting a snow blower." He may be getting old, but he's good!

Snowblower Starts - Neighborhood Rejoices - The Other (Younger) Half Loses A Bet

The long anticipated snowfall came, starting about 3pm yesterday. The way the local news was hyping it, you would think that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were riding in on this low pressure system rather than Gulf moisture. We probably got about a foot of snow all told. There was rain, freezing rain, grapple (at least that's what the weather geeks were calling it) snow, and wind. Nice little storm. Pictures will be posted.

The Other (Younger) Half said Friday night, "I bet you a dollar it doesn't snow." Exact words. At that point it was freezing rain with no snow in sight. I told her that if she really believed that it wouldn't snow, she should make the bet worthwhile. She upped it to 2 dollars. That woman really lives on the edge. Well she lost the bet, big time. She's already trying to weasel out of it by claiming that she never said it wouldn't snow. Don't believe a word of it, I've got a mind like a steel trap.

The snowblower did start, so I probably saved the family from a couple of heart attacks. Saved the neighbors too. I'm a regular philanthrope. Now that the thing is put away, it started snowing again. Ah well, more opportunity to prove what a great humanitarian I am.

Went out this morning at 9am for the Twin City Bicycling Club ride. It was cancelled because I was the only one who showed. Actually, when I got there, the ride leader Paul H, who had already shown up, had just gotten off the phone with his granddaughter. He arranged to go out to breakfast with her. He figured no one else was stupid enough to come, so he had the morning off. I guess he doesn't know stupid. I'm going back for the 1pm ride.

Alert To Our Faithful Reader(s)

It has been brought to my attention that only Googlers can post comments on this blog. That has all changed now. If you click on the "comments" below each post, you now have the option of registering your name and leaving a comment. Now awaiting the flood of responses.

Winter Comes Late To The Twin Cities

NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE TWIN CITIES/CHANHASSEN MN
1201 PM CST THU FEB 22 2007

...MAJOR WINTER EVENT ON THE WAY...

.UPDATE...FOR FORECAST AND 18Z TAF CYCLE BELOW
HEADLINES FOR WINTER WEATHER EVENT WILL BE COMING...LIKELY BEING
A WINTER STORM WATCH FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION OF THE EVENT...LATE
AFTERNOON FRIDAY THROUGH SUNDAY. AS MENTIONED IN PRIOR
DISCUSSIONS EVENT STILL APPEARS TO BE COMPOSED OF TWO ROUNDS WHERE
MODERATE TO HEAVY SNOW SEEMS LIKELY. ALONG AND NORTH OF THE
I-94 PRECIP SHOULD BE MAINLY OR ONLY SNOW WITH ACCUMULATIONS NOW
LOOKING LIKELY TO BE FOUR OR MORE INCHES GIVEN MID LEVEL
FORCING/INSTABILITY. SECOND ROUND STILL IN PLACE FOR DEFORMATION
ZONE ON SATURDAY NIGHT. BEST AREA TO SEE HEAVIEST ACCUMULATIONS
WITH THIS SECOND ROUND WILL BE IN SRN MN AND WEST CENTRAL WI. ALL
IN ALL...WEEKEND ACCUMULATIONS OF 10-15 INCHES ARE BECOMING MORE
LIKELY IN WEST CTRL WI AND EAST CTRL MN...INCLUDING THE TWIN
CITIES. REMAINDER OF THE AREA STILL LOOKING LIKELY TO SEE SIX
PLUS INCHES.

Bottom Line: Gotta fire up the snowblower for the first time in a year. If it doesn't work, I'll have to press The Other (Younger) Half into service because that mysterious thumb injury is acting up again. Hey, if she's got enough time and energy to blog, she can throw around a little snow.

3x26=78

Took the bike to work for the third time this week. That's 78 miles not driven, a couple of hours of less stress and a mouthful of curses not hurled at other drivers. My car hasn't been out of the garage since Tuesday. Sadly, this will all change over the weekend. Probably three days of precipitation, of which 12 inches could be snow. I kinda like riding in the snow, but only on the trails, of which Minneapolis has a ton. When I get around to it, I'll post a pic of my steed over on Picasa. I would put pictures directly on the blog, but I know mom and dad don't have a high speed connection, and it would take mucho time for them to download the pages. Am I wrong about that? If I am, I'll gladly post pics every once and a while. Wait a minute...

"What's that Jon? You need me to make more coffee? Yes sir! I'm all over that."

Time to get back to my very important job.

Here I go...

So. We have a family Blog. I should probably contribute, especially since, because I share sleeping quarters with the author, I get a constant barrage of updates about who's NOT contributing sufficiently: "What do you mean you don't have time to sit down to post something? Bring the computer into the bathroom...you're sitting down there!!"

Rest assured, I am not currently blogging in the bathroom. I am comfortably settled in the 'study' chair, and choose to exonerate myself through a voluntary contribution. Scott mentioned some upcoming news; I was offered a summer nursing internship at Abbott Northwestern hospital, in neurology and rehab. It's a big deal for me, and the positions are quite competetive, so I'm very excited to have been offered the position. It'll make for a busy summer (what's new about that, huh?), as I'm beholden to a .8 position throughout the summer. I don't know at this point what my hours will be, as it will be determined by my preceptors's hours, and I don't yet know who that will be. I had originally requested "no overnights" but we'll see if that holds much weight...

Other than that, school is fine. It's demanding, time-consuming, intense and challenging; everything I anticipated it would be, so I guess it's par for the course. I'm done in about 9 months, so I (we!!) can see the light at the end of the (very small...) tunnel! Currently I am doing public health/community nursing rotations and I really enjoy it! I'll need to have hospital/acute care experience first, but I'm pretty sure I'll eventually end up in some public health capacity. My heart and mind seek out preventative rather than acute care experiences. It just makes more sense to me.

My family has modeled extreme patience these last couple years, and puts up with my "health topic of the week" obsessions, and insistence on healthful eating and exercise (lately, however, I cater more to the theory of "do as I say, not as I do" when it comes to eating and exercise). It's all a learning curve...!

That's it. I did it. My first blog. It'll be my last if I get scathing commentary! :-)

It Pays To Be Poor

We're getting a tax return. The government savings plan works yet again. I suppose we should change the number of dependents we have on my W4 and use the money over the course of the year, but it's always kind of fun to get a return.

In other news:

Tacy Still In School - End Now In Sight.

December 2007 to be exact. I would get her to write about it herself but she claims that being "a full-time student" and "running her own business" and "raising three girls" and "having a lard-ass for a husband"* precludes her from taking just a small bit of time from her day to write about what's happening to her. Sheesh. So I guess it's up to me to fill you all in on what's going on. Let's see....There will be some noteworthy news coming up within the next week or so, but I can't say what it's about. Let's just say it rhymes with pinternship.

*Please re-read this sentence while holding hands up at eye level, thumb holding pinky and ring finger against palm. The index and middle finger, while extended upwards, are bent at the middle knuckle (think: cute floppy bunny ears). As you read the words in quotation marks move hands in an up and down fashion parallel to your face while extending and bending the index and middle fingers. Read or speak words in quotations with sarcasm.

Saweeeeet!

42F. Today was the first day since January 26 that I was able to ride my bicycle to work. Very, very nice. Except for the 15mph headwind on the way home. We've had some brutally cold weather and I'll admit it, I'm a sissy. I won't bike when it gets below 15F. Tootsies get too cold. It's about a 13 mile ride and it takes me about an hour. If you're interested, and I know you are, here's my route:
http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=701729
Now that I think of it, that's quite manly. Exceptionally manly. Although I have to admit it's pretty flat, except for those squiggles up on Wheelock Parkway in St. Paul. Those are switchbacks. Killer on the way home. Hopefully, I'll get to ride a couple more times this week. Not tomorrow though. I'm seeing our accountant about taxes!! Yipee!! I've been so very wrong both in our favor and in Uncle Sam's favor the past couple of years when making estimated pre-payments that I made none this year. So bring it on G-men, I can take it. Or give it, I guess, if I owe them. I'd rather take it. Full report tomorrow.

In other news, the Madster is applying for a big time summer school program that is held at Theee Blake School. It would be great if she got in, but we'll see. 1) We might make too much money (very, very hard to believe, I'll show you my tax return). 2)Her parents are still married and living together. 3) And we are not minorities. Except that in the Minneapolis Public Schools I think my kids are in the minority. In any case, it would be great for Maddy. If she doesn't get in that's fine. She's got supportive parents, grandparents and friends and the expectation from all of us that she will do well in school. If every kid in the district had that, I think there wouldn't be as many problems as there are.

A Story By Maddy (actually posted by her father)

In the days when braves roamed the land, hunting bison, while women scraped hides and boiled maple syrup, there lived a man named Iktomi. Iktomi was a Dakota indian. He was very mischievous and wily, but he was, and always will be, a fool at heart. One spring morning, when Iktomi was sitting in front of his lonely tipi, he was suddenly hit by pangs of hunger. “Ho!” he said regretfully, “Would I love some of that roasted duck from yesternoon! I think I will hunt some more duck for my rumbling belly!” And so Iktomi the fool grabbed his quiver of arrows and his bow, and started off though the woods. Iktomi sidled through the forest, searching for some more tasty duck. But instead of finding duck, he came upon some coal black white-tailed deer. Iktomi was beside himself with glee. “Ha ha ha!” he cackled. “These deer must be better than ducks!” He shot a arrow at them. Nothing happened. He shot another arrow, then another. Still nothing happened. He howled with rage. “Why can’t I shoot my breakfast!” he snorted. Then a plan struck him. Iktomi set down his hunting materials and started to chant. “Feathered peacock, muskrat ear, make myself a coal black deer!” He whispered this chant to the North, South, East and West then walked into the clearing in which the deer grazed.
“Ho!” said Iktomi, now a coal black white-tailed deer. The deer looked up and saw |ktomi. A very large deer stepped out of the herd of deer and said
“Greetings fellow deer! What are you doing in our humble clearing?” Iktomi replied, “I wish to be part of your sacred group, and to be in your delightful
company.” He lied mischievously. The deer were a little doubtful, but they let the so-called deer into their midst. They ate berries, plants and leaves (except for Iktomi, who only ate the berries. Though he looked like a deer, he didn’t have a deer's instincts), and frolicked around until night time, when they all went to sleep. All, that is, except Iktomi and a little deer named Swift Night. Swift Night was about to go to sleep, when he saw the new deer get up and say, “May the gods help me, this hide is an itchy thing!” then leave the clearing. Swift Night followed. He followed this new deer to another clearing, where he watched the deer chant, “Bison wool, amphibian, turn this black hide to skin of man.” And to Swift Night’s horror, a man appeared with a “poof” where the black deer used to be. “Ahhh!” said the strange man, “that’s better! And what is even better is that tomorrow I will be feasting on delicious venison! Those black deer don’t have a chance!” Then Iktomi lay on the ground and went to sleep.
After hearing this horrible plan, Swift Night, as his name implies, ran swiftly back to the clearing, woke his peers, and told them the ghastly plan. “He has tricked us and he will pay!” said the head deer, full of revenge. Then Swift Night said, “I have a plan.” He began to chant,
“Bison wool, amphibian, turn these black hides to skin of men.” With a loud “poof” all the black deer turned into humans.
....
Iktomi woke up in his clearing the next morning with his belly rumbling like thunder. “Ohh, my poor belly!” he cried. Then all of a sudden a group of hunters walked into the clearing. “Greetings Hunters!” Iktomi cried out, “what prey do you hunt?” A small man stepped out of the party of hunters. “We hunt the black, white-tailed deer. My name is Swift Night. And, pray, what is yours?” Swift Night asked. “My name is Iktomi, the great hunter!” said Iktomi boldly, lying through his teeth. “Then become a member of our group, Iktomi the great hunter,” replied Swift Night welcoming him into their group. Iktomi was beside himself with glee. “I will get my quiver of arrows and my bow!” he said excitedly. They found his quiver of arrows and his bow near the clearing and set off. As they walked, Iktomi and Swift Night talked the whole time. “There is a ritual about the hunt of the white tailed deer,” said Swift Night. “What is the ritual?” asked Iktomi, intrigued. “A hunter is bound to a stake either until a deer is killed, or for 3 days. There is also a reward. The hunter receives the pelt, which is very valuable.” Swift Night sighed and said, “And I am to be that person.” Iktomi jumped. “Why are you ashamed?” he cried, “If you are ashamed, then I will be that person!” Iktomi laughed inside his head at the small man. “What a fool! Doing that little for such a prize! The mans an idiot!” Swift Night just answered, “You are sure?”
“Of course I am sure!”
“It’s just that there is more.”
“How much more?” came the confident reply.
“Ohh,” said Swift Night casually, “Just that you have to wear the dress of a woman, paint your face red, blue and yellow with black dots, be covered with maple sap, stuck with bits of rabbit and poison ivy, on a isl...” “And th-thats all, r-right?” said Iktomi, a little bit shakily, for with each word the small man had said, Iktomi had gotten paler, to Swift Nights delight.
“Dear Iktomi, I have not finished yet!”
Iktomi’s face turned a ghastly pale white, which made Swift Night shiver with pleasure.
“All that is left is that you will be stuck on an island, surrounded by man-eating crocodiles.
“Bu...,” said Iktomi. Swift Night continued, but Iktomi, turning paler by the second, interrupted and squeaked “I think I will withdraw my position.”
“Ahh!” said Swift Night, “You cannot go back on your word, my friend. No. But I have not yet finished.” And with that, Iktomi’s face turned from ghastly white to brownish green. He was about to faint when Swift Night shouted, “GOOD THINGS!” At those words, Iktomi’s face turned from brownish green to it’s regular color, and with a sigh of relief, Iktomi said boldly, “What good things?”
“Ohh” said Swift Night cooly, “Just that the tribe will honor you until you die. There will be a feast to honor you after we get back, and you will be able to eat all the venison you want from the hunt. The chief will give you one of his beautiful daughters, and you will be waited on hand and foot, with all the luxuries and food you want for your whole life.” At hearing this, Iktomi’s face lit up with hope (and anxiety) for the grand day when he would have all the glory.
The troop trekked along a worn path until they came to the crocodile-infested river Swift Night talked about. They rowed across with the pole, a woman's dress, a pot of maple sap, and two others of rabbit, and poison ivy. When they avoided the jaws of the crocodiles and had made it to the island safely, they drove the pole into the ground and dressed Iktomi in the very frilly dress. With some rope, they tied up Iktomi, smothered his skin with maple sap, then slapped on the tender, juicy meat, which made Iktomi’s and the crocodiles’ mouths water. Gingerly, they put the poison ivy on. Then they left Iktomi there. When they were out of ear shot, they chortled and cackled! When they reached land, they ran to the forest clearing. Swift Night chanted, “We’ve played our trick, our work is done, turn this skin to black hide, for we are finished with our fun.” And with a loud “crack” they were again black deer.
Meanwhile, Iktomi was left on the island, until when, 3 days later, a group of muskrat hunters came to the river and found Iktomi, dressed in women's clothing, smothered in maple sap, with rotting chunks of rabbit and poison ivy all over him! He was also covered with rope burn, and with red patches from the poison ivy. They believed Iktomi a crazy person and laughed and hollered until they grew hoarse. Iktomi asked, “Did the hunters send you to unbind me?” They replied through fits of laughter, “Ha ha ha! What hunters?”
“The ones who hunt the black deer...”
“Who in Inyan’s name are they?” asked the hunters.
“The ones wh....,” and realizing he had been tricked, Iktomi howled with rage.
“I shall get those deer if it’s the last thing I do!”
“Yah right crazy boy, let’s get you home.”
......
So, Iktomi did not go home to a grand feast, a beautiful wife and all the luxuries and food he wanted. In fact, all he got was burns and much humiliation. Sometimes, if you go to that forest, and listen with all your might, you will hear a peculiar sound. Not a turtle, nor a peacock, or even a wolf. No, it is the sound of black deer laughing.

Apologies by the Madds

Okay, There are more normal people in the house, but I'm not saying thats everybody.
And, that other stuff was streched a little, but most of it was true.

I saw it!

I saw your blog dad and you are , like, totally NOT going to embarrass me in front of , like, the whole world!
GOSH!


Hi I'm the Madster, Madalina Ballarina, Madds, Maddy-Waddy-doodle-all-the-day, and just plain Maddy.
I have a weird father who is ancient (43), 2 sisters, 1 a neat freak, the other, who should belong to a psycho ward, and a mother who is in nursing school, and a health freak. I am the only normal person in the whole household. Thats all there is to say.

Progress In the Master Plan

So, I've been setting up the rest of the fam with posting permission to the blog. Responses:
"That's nice."
"I'm way too busy for this foolishness."
"Dad, you're an idiot."
"What's a blog?"
OK, I guess my grandiose plan of making this a family activity is showing lack of foresight in gauging everyone's enthusiasm for this project. Must come up with a new plan. Will keep everyone apprised.

The Internets Are Overrated

What a load of crap. I've been blogging for 8 hours now and have no comments on my first post. The 3 people who have looked at my profile are me. ME! Come on! What's going on here?

This Is Like So Totally Cool

Ok. So this is like my first post, and like I'm so excited, cause this will be like a online diary of our, you know, family - except, like, ummm, if I'm the only one posting it's going to be like totally boooring o.k. ?

You hear that family? If you don't contribute then I will embarrass you by writing about your surreptitious nose-picking for the whole world (potentially, but in reality probably about 6 people) to read.

So for those of you who land on this blog, I can't tell you what to expect. Hopefully it won't become one of those poor neglected projects that litter the web. I will try my hardest to get the rest of the fam to post here and I will also try not to post any of my outrageous left-wing political views, because nobody is interested in that. So there you go.